#2 My story
I want to start by giving you a tiny background on my pregnancy and delivery so you know where I’m coming from. I think it’s good to keep in mind that just like every pregnancy is different so is each labor and delivery and postpartum experience. Something a lot of people don’t know is that prior to my baby girl being born we were pregnant once before and had a miscarriage. This was really difficult for both of us. Being our first pregnancy we were super excited and like most told a bunch of people prematurely so when we lost the baby it was extra painful to have to go back and tell people or even worse to run into someone who hadn’t heard and have to tell them to their face that you had a miscarriage after they ask you how the pregnancy is going. We like most moved past it, eventually I stopped crying all the time and put faith in that fact that the time simply wasn’t right and we would get there eventually. This also created some hesitation with wanting to try again. The fear of experiencing that pain of loss again created a strain on us initially but we decided it was time and on thanksgiving morning we conceived our sweet baby girl.
My pregnancy was pretty by the book. I got nauseas in the first trimester like most and it faded in the second. I was exhausted the entire time but still managed to work up until the very end. I had awful heartburn from about 6mo on and I felt huge by the end of it all. I experienced all the people giving their advice and answering the same 5 questions to people a million times a day and it was all fine because I knew they ask because they’re excited and they share advice because they care about you and I was ok with all of it. I didn’t love being pregnant like some people do and I didn’t dislike it either. For me it just was, it was something that was happening to my body and I was excited for the end result but I didn’t feel strongly one way or another about it. Towards the end I was ready and uncomfortable like most but more then anything I was just excited to meet her and soon enough I would.
We chose to deliver at a birthing center specifically the Tree of Life birthing center and I couldn’t have been happier with my decision. We chose a birthing center over a hospital because we wanted to make our own decisions for myself and our baby and to be able to enjoy the experience instead of feeling the stress of the hospital. If you don’t know much about birthing centers I highly recommend at least looking into them because we had an incredible experience. I labored for about 24hrs from very first contraction to her being born. Most of my laboring was done at home, with the birthing center you don’t stay in their care until your in active labor which is about 5cm dilated and the goal is 10cm before you can push. So that being said we labored at home for 22 of those 24hrs which I preferred. We went in for several checks during that time but simply hadn’t progressed enough to stay until finally my water broke which was like the movies for me, I literally felt it pop and it was like someone poured a bucket of water over me it was crazy! I woke up my husband and we went straight to the center, the midwife was already there when we arrived ready to go. She checked me and I was at 5cm so that meant we got to stay yay! I started out in the birthing tub but considering I was already sweating from being so warm sitting in a hot tub was not appealing so it didn’t last long. I ended up sitting on the edge of a bed and went between sitting and standing for the most part. Eventually the midwife asked if I wanted to sit on the toilet as a form of support since I was essentially squatting anyways and I agreed. So moments later my baby was born over the toilet and I couldn’t have been happier, 3 pushes and she was out. I was fortunate enough to have my husband there for the entire thing, he was an incredible support to me. He mirrored my every move with exactly what I needed and read my body language perfectly without him I could not have done it like I did. He was right there for the entire thing. He helped pull her out and bring her up to me, he got to cut the cord as well both things he couldn’t wait to do for the first time. After she was out we sat in the tub and rinsed off, simply enjoying those first few moments together, it was so surreal and beautiful I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We are so lucky to have had the experience we did and I know that’s not the case for all and may not be even for our next one but I will cherish every moment of what we had, it was special and unique to us and to her as I feel every pregnancy, delivery and child is. Accepting your delivery for what it is is the best piece of advice I can give you, don’t fight it, try not to judge yourself or your baby for whatever didn’t go the way you expected. It’s a big thing to ask and easier said then done but if you can find a way to see the light in your story it’s one more step closer to a better fourth trimester.